The Saga of the Fifteen Cabbages

Image Description:  A blurry close-up photo of many green savoy cabbages.

I love food and free things, and especially free food because all my family does is ask, "What can I have to eat?"  So when my friend, The Post-Apocalyptic Earth Queen, who works in catering, called me and asked if I wanted some cabbages, I eagerly said yes.

"Give me as many as you want," I said greedily.  "We eat a lot of cabbage.  I have 3 in the house already and I'm actually making cabbage soup right now.  If I end up with too many, I can make sauerkraut."

She showed up late that afternoon with a crate of 15 cabbages.  FIFTEEN.  "Also, I was cheeky and brought some leftover bread," she added, nodding to the enormous pile of loaves and rolls bagged up on top of the cabbages.

When we first moved into this flat, we didn't have a refrigerator and we weren't sure what was a practical size for our family.  If you have never looked at refrigerators on-line, consider yourself lucky:  like stars in the night sky, the more you look at refrigerators on-line, the more you find.  "I thought I'd seen them all, but more just keep appearing!" I shouted to my husband.  Eventually, when I realised we'd been surviving pretty well for a few weeks of no refrigerator, I bought the cheapest refrigerator I could find.  It was small, and had a tiny freezer inside, big enough to hold 2 loaves of bread or 3 bags of frozen veg, and was supposed to be frost-free.

Frost-free turned out to be a lie, but even worse, the freezer only froze whatever was touching the bottom, including anything stacked high up against it in the refrigerator, and only chilled the rest of its contents, so, while the ice cube tray provided made ice just fine, a bag of frozen corn would only be frozen on the bottom, and bread ended up half-frozen, half-stale.

So I had to get rid of some of that bread.

I was passing out bread around my neighbourhood like some kind of ersatz Jesus, but I only managed to shift three cabbages.

In a panic, I called my joiner and left a message.  My joiner, who upon just returning from Mallorca with a terrible strain of man-flu caught on the return flight, phoned to say he'd just been panning for gold in the River Orchy.

I told him about the cabbages. "I've asked everyone I know in the whole town and cabbage is proving to be surprisingly unpopular."

My joiner is from across the water.  He moved here many years ago, but still acts as if it's a foreign land, full of people with strange ways.  "Of course you can't give them away. People on this side of the firth don't eat fruit or veg unless it's in a tin. They don't even have onions in their mince!"  He shuddered.  "I only got minute gold flakes, but brought some dirt home to pan tomorrow.  Once the man flu has passed, I'll trade you some potatoes for a cabbage."

ONE CABBAGE.  Well, it was better than nothing and I might get some potatoes out of it, which was also good.

The good news is, I ate through all those cabbages!  Here is what I made, and how much it cost to feed the 6 of us, bearing in mind the cabbages and bread were free:

• Vegetable YakiUdon
I used udon noodles in miso broth, mushrooms, cabbage, carrot, green onions, garlic, ginger, and soya sauce.  A little toasted sesame oil would be a nice addition if that's your thing.  The Udon noodles made this expensive at about £3 in total.  The kids liked this, but mostly because of the noodles.

• Italian Cabbage Bread Soup
This is a great way to use up stale bread! It's basically a soup made from cabbage, tomato, white beans, onion, carrots, celery, herbs, and black pepper served over stale bread in bowls. I got this recipe from Robin Robertson's Vegan on the Cheap. This dish cost about £2, mostly because the beans were £1.  I make this dish a lot and the kids like it.

Image description:  A close-up photo of a colourful Asian slaw, with shredded cabbage, red bell pepper, green onions, and shredded carrot.

• Asian Slaw
Shred cabbage, carrots, and a red bell pepper. Add finely sliced spring onion (green onion), edamame beans, cilantro, sesame seeds, whatever else you want to throw in. You can make a dressing out of orange/lime/lemon juice, shredded ginger, and miso. I also added soya sauce and a splash of vinegar. I made it without the edamame beans and cilantro because I forgot to buy some and it cost about £1.30 (the bell pepper was 50p, I used about 30p worth of spring onions, carrots are really cheap) and was enough for everyone.  It was a big hit with my husband.

Image description:  Cabbage varnishkes topped with with lots of salt and black pepper in a blue willow bowl.

• Cabbage Varnishkes
Prepare kasha (toasted buckwheat) and pasta (each in a separate pan) according to the instructions on the packet and pan-fry some chopped onions while you boil or steam chopped cabbage.  Then when everything else is cooked, bung it all into the frying pan, toss, and fry together for a few minutes.  Serve with lots of pepper and salt to taste.
I used rotini instead of bowtie pasta because Morrisons value rotini is 30p and bowtie is 60p+. I got the kasha half-off because one of the 4 packets inside was missing.  Cost £1.20 max (inc the onion) for a HUGE pan of food, easily enough to feed 6. I ate way too much.

• Bubble and Squeak
This is a traditional Scottish breakfast dish made from leftover boiled potatoes and cabbage.  I like to add onions, too.  Sometimes it is formed into little patties and fried, and sometimes it is baked in a casserole dish, but usually, you bung it all into a pan and fry it gently.  You can add boiled carrots, leeks, and button (Brussel) sprouts, too.  Potatoes, carrots, and onions are cheap, so it cost us about £1.  It was a huge hit with my 6 year old!

• Kimchi
I made this with green onions (because I didn't feel like using garlic and I feel like green onions taste more fresh) and fresh red chilies instead of the traditional gochugaru Korean dried chili (because I don't have any anymore).  It cost me about £1 for the spring onions, fresh chilies, and ginger.

• Sauerkraut
This is really easy to make and cost me nothing because I already had salt and jars!


Stuff I didn't make, but is cabbagey and awesome:

• Kasha and Cabbage
This is a lot like Varnishkes without the pasta.  Prepare the kasha (toasted buckwheat) according to the instructions on the packet and pan-fry some chopped onions and mushrooms while you boil or steam chopped cabbage.  Then when everything else is cooked, bung it all into the frying pan, toss, and fry together for a few minutes.  Serve with lots of pepper and salt to taste.

• Haluski (Cabbage and Noodles)
This is similar to Varnishkes without the kasha.  Boil some thick, flat noodles, boil or steam some sliced cabbage, and pan-fry some onions.  Toss together and salt to taste.  This dish is traditionally served with lots of melted butter, but if that's not your thing (it's not mine), you do you.

• Cabbage Rolls
There are so many versions of these, but basically you steam some cabbage leaves, fill them with veggies, beans, grains, etc., wrap the cabbage leaves up like burritos, cover in tomato sauce, and bake.  Alternately, you can add the tomato sauce to the inside and steam them instead.

Image description:  A purple cabbage salad with sunflower seeds on a blue-rimmed white plate.

• This Polish Cabbage Salad
I had this when I visited Auschewitz and, guys, I know it's weird to say this considering it was Auschewitz and all, but they had the best cabbage salads in their cafeteria.


A lovely lassie called Sunita on a wfpb forum told me about the following recipes, which I haven't tried yet, but will:

"My mum used to make a lovely cabbage curry by browning onions, adding in tomatoes, turmeric, curry powder, Garam masala, fresh garlic, ginger and chillis. Add in your cabbage and mix well and allow to cook. Top with fresh coriander and tuck in.

There’s also a Gujarati Indian dish called Sambhar. It’s toasted mustard seeds and green chillis, add a little turmeric mixed with water, then add julienned carrot and shredded cabbage. Cook minimally so it stays crunchy. Mix in a little fresh lemon and it’s ready. Lovely with hot chapattis and a dhal."

I have been so busy with other exciting things that I don't have too many photos in this post, but hopefully the recipes will make up for it.  :)  While I was typing up this blog, The Post-Apocalyptic Earth Queen messaged me again asking if she could bring over another box of food!  XD