Death and Snipers

 

"Everyone I love must die!" shouted my 3 year old, wielding a butter knife.  

This memory is sealed in my mind.  It was so random and funny.  What's random and not funny, is how I have unexpectedly lost so many people in the past 12 months.  I was soul deep in mourning.  

But grief is weird.  It comes and goes, and it changes you.  I bought a viola.  I went back to university.  I made new friends.  I started writing music again.  I went from "someday" to "now."  My grief is on the mend, as much as grief can be mended.  I have more amusing stories and pontifications to share here soon.

So.  Let me tell you about the night I escaped death.    

The other night, I went to bed with the curtains not quite closed and woke up in the middle of the night and saw a red laser dot on my arm.  It was coming from a window across the street and I don't know why the neighbours were doing that, but it was a creepy AF way to wake up.  I was too tired to get up and close the curtain,  so I shimmied out of the way of the laser and fell back asleep while the sniper neighbour laser shined on my wall.   

One more interesting story before I go.

There is drama at the allotments.  I always tell Americans that allotments are like gardens set up for people in flats and you have to go on a very long waiting list to get one.  I finally got one last year, and this week, there is drama.  Apparently, a member of the committee was gossiping about an allotment holder with a dark past to other allotment holders and the subject of the gossip allotment holder was not amused.  I already knew about him and he's a very nice guy and you would never suspect, but my dears, he is a MURDERER.  He bludgeoned someone with a baseball bat and was in prison for years.  This was all back in the 1980s because -- this is the best part of the allotment drama -- aside from me and one other lady, everyone with an allotment is a boomer, like 60-80s+.  (I would expect this drama from Crackhead Craig down the street, but not from pensioners.)  They are all really nice in person, not just the murderer, so the idea that there is all this drama is hilarious.  They having a special meeting of allotment holders to deal with it because the murderer bloke wants the committee member to resign immediately for violating his privacy under some human rights act or something, but others are arguing that this is knowledge easily found online and available to the public.  I can see both sides -- gossip is legal, but telling everyone that the lovely bloke from Plot 8 is, in fact, a murderer is another thing entirely, but then again, that's what you've got to take into consideration before bludgeoning someone with a baseball bat.

Until next time.

Deine Champagner-Anarchist

*  The picture is my AI doppelganger.  I would like that dress and deco interior, please.